How to Make Delicious Ramen Noodles

Like all beautiful food, there are two barriers holding people back from making it. One is that they think it will take too long. If you're too busy or lazy to cut something with a knife, you don't deserve to eat beautiful meals. This takes thirty seconds anyway. The other is that they think it will cost too much. This too is a misconception. Everything here can be found a any supermarket.

Ingredients:

1. Noodles
2. Soup Base Packet
3. Green Onion (one, washed and chopped)
4. Cilantro (chopped, enough to halfway fill a shotglass)
5. Carrots (cut into splinters, enough to fill a shotglass)
6. Sweet Corn (frozen kernels, enough to fill a shotglass)
7. Lime Juice (preferably from a slice)
8. Garlic (minced)
9. Chicken (one frozen tenderloin)
10. Sriracha OR red pepper flakes OR fresh sliced peppers OR all three
11. black pepper

Begin as though you were making normal, loser ramen. Boil water and add the seasoning packet. Take your frozen chicken tenderloin and put it in the microwave for one minute at full power.

Meanwhile, start heating up some oil in a pan at medium-high. When the pan starts to smoke a bit, add the oil, the garlic, then the white parts of the green onion you sliced. The whole pan should be screaming mayhem. That's okay. Your chicken is defrosted enough. Put it in the pan. It will start to cook.

Put your carrot splinters in the boiling water. They take longer to cook.

Back to the chicken. Once it's not pink in the middle any more, You're going to pull it apart with two chopsticks. I know it's weird. Just do it. You'll get a handful of little strips. I like these more than cubes, and I don't need to dirty a cutting board, because it all happens in the pan. Keep stir frying the strips in the pan until they are crispy but not charred.

Then back to the pot. Add your noodles finally, along with the corn and whatever you use to make it spicy.

Put the chicken in the pot, and scrape in any garlic or green onion left in the pan. As soon as the noodles soften up, pour the contents of the pot into whatever you're eating ramen out of. Soggy ramen is gross.

Pepper loses its flavor if you cook it too long, so add it now. Sprinkle the green part of the green onions you chopped on top of everything, along with the cilantro. Drizzle with lime juice. Garnish with two stalks of cilantro if you are serving this to somebody.

Now eat your delicious ramen.

Chili Recipe of the Gods

The best chili you will ever eat, stolen from Mount Olympus itself.

Grocery List

• 1 - 2 lb of a Boneless Beef Chuck cubed. (no g/b or cubed steak)
• 1 Large Container Beef Stock
• 1 large red onion
• 1 Yellow Onion
• 1 Stalk of Celery
• 1 Beer I like to use Blue Moon
• 1 pack of Thick Cut Bacon
• 1 Large Bag of Pinto Beans DRY (This is secret #1)
• 1 Small Bag Black Beans DRY ( Dry Beans all together are secret #1)
• 1 Large Garlic Clove
• 1 Red Bell pepper
• 2 Cans Stewed Tomatoes with Green Chili's
• Extra Virgin Olive Oil & Butter
• Small Can of Tomato Paste
• Cheddar Cheese and Oyster Crackers (Optional)

Spices

• Assorted Spices, Cumin, Chili Powder, Garlic Powder, Onion Powder, Paprika, Oregano, Salt, Pepper.

Fridge Staples

• Worcestershire Sauce
• Ketchup (Secret #2)
• Vinegar
• Hot Sauce/Tabasco
• Liquid Smoke

Preperation.

1. Soak dry beans overnight, If you don't soak overnight, Soak at least one hour prior to cooking.
2. Cover beans with water, Chop yellow onion in half, and chop celery 2 celery stalks in half. Add the halved onion's and celery to the water/dry bean mixture, Boil beans until almost soft and when the water level is low Add 1/2 of your beef stock/broth.
3. Continue boiling until fully cooked, You will have a soupy bean/beef/veg broth just covering the top of the beans. Remove the 2 onion halves and the celery stalks.
4. Dice your entire red onion, and red bell pepper, and mince your garlic.
5. Start a hot pan with EVOO and 1tbs butter. Add the bacon once partially cooked, Add diced chuck, cook until the outsides are seared, add The entire onion and red bell pepper, saute until translucent and sweet, add minced garlic and cook for 20-30 seconds more. This whole process shouldn't take more than 5 minutes.
6. Add the rest of the beef broth to the beans and your beer, Add the beef/bacon/onion/RBP/garlic mixture to the pot as well. Also add both cans of stewed tomatoes.
7. Add about 1tbs of each seasoning, except oregano, add 1tsp oregano. Be very liberal with the worcestershire, add lots. Add 2 tsp vinegar, 2 tsp hot sauce and 1tbs liquid smoke. And add several TBS of ketchup. It brings tons of flavor profile to the table. Also add a tbs or so of tomato paste if you like thicker chili. Simmer this for at least an hour stirring occasionally.
8. Serve with diced onions, Cheddar cheese and oyster crackers if you please.
9. Never make chili with canned beans!

Options: Add a tbs of mustard, add large carrots or other larger portion vegetable in the bean boiling process for additional veg broth flavor. Add more spices for your particular flavor profile. Add red pepper flake for heat. Add Fresh diced jalapenos in the sauteeing process.