Monday, April 8, 2013

How to Make Delicious Ramen Noodles

Like all beautiful food, there are two barriers holding people back from making it. One is that they think it will take too long. If you're too busy or lazy to cut something with a knife, you don't deserve to eat beautiful meals. This takes thirty seconds anyway. The other is that they think it will cost too much. This too is a misconception. Everything here can be found a any supermarket.

Ingredients:
  1. Noodles
  2. Soup Base Packet
  3. Green Onion (one, washed and chopped)
  4. Cilantro (chopped, enough to halfway fill a shotglass)
  5. Carrots (cut into splinters, enough to fill a shotglass)
  6. Sweet Corn (frozen kernels, enough to fill a shotglass)
  7. Lime Juice (preferably from a slice)
  8. Garlic (minced)
  9. Chicken (one frozen tenderloin)
  10. Sriracha OR red pepper flakes OR fresh sliced peppers OR all three
  11. black pepper
Begin as though you were making normal, loser ramen. Boil water and add the seasoning packet. Take your frozen chicken tenderloin and put it in the microwave for one minute at full power.

Meanwhile, start heating up some oil in a pan at medium-high. When the pan starts to smoke a bit, add the oil, the garlic, then the white parts of the green onion you sliced. The whole pan should be screaming mayhem. That's okay. Your chicken is defrosted enough. Put it in the pan. It will start to cook.

Put your carrot splinters in the boiling water. They take longer to cook.

Back to the chicken. Once it's not pink in the middle any more, You're going to pull it apart with two chopsticks. I know it's weird. Just do it. You'll get a handful of little strips. I like these more than cubes, and I don't need to dirty a cutting board, because it all happens in the pan. Keep stir frying the strips in the pan until they are crispy but not charred.

Then back to the pot. Add your noodles finally, along with the corn and whatever you use to make it spicy.

Put the chicken in the pot, and scrape in any garlic or green onion left in the pan. As soon as the noodles soften up, pour the contents of the pot into whatever you're eating ramen out of. Soggy ramen is gross.

Pepper loses its flavor if you cook it too long, so add it now. Sprinkle the green part of the green onions you chopped on top of everything, along with the cilantro. Drizzle with lime juice. Garnish with two stalks of cilantro if you are serving this to somebody.

Now eat your delicious ramen.

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