Friday, March 8, 2013

Getting Started with Wine

Wine is, without doubt, the most socially acceptable drink to order when you aren't on steady footing with the company, the venue or the event sophistication. Spirits and cocktails are either too strong or too quickly consumed to be proper social beverages, and beer has a tendency to make you burp and is best consumed in comfortable company. What's left? Wine.

Restaurant lunch. Fancy dinner. Mingling with guests at a function. Business lunch. Casual seaside picnic. Upscale party where you don't know many people. All ideal wine times.

First of all, the only rule is:
  • Do not drink sweet/dessert wines and believe you've made it into the connoisseur's lounge
Try to familiarize yourself with wine varieties and regions. It isn't that hard once you get started.

White wines range from very dry (which is sort of tangy/sour and yet neither of those things) to very sweet (sugary, syrupy sweet). Red wines are much heavier and stronger, and can be mild and warm (Merlot) ranging all the way to fruity and flavorful (Cab Sauv) to spicy and hot (Shiraz). There are few sweet reds that are not fortified (port - traditionally a nightcap drink) or blended with whites (rose).

Regions are just 'where the wine comes from', which makes a difference, but not as much as the wine variety. For example, a Shiraz from California is called a 'Syrah' and is typically deep red. A Shiraz from Australia is typically deep purple.

Try a bunch of them. The rest will sort itself as you go.

There is no correct way to open a wine bottle or drink it from the glass. Pour it and go. You'll see people swirling and sniffing and biting it and all manner of stuff. Let them go for it, they're having fun. What matters is sipping the wine and enjoying the taste and smell. You don't need to swirl and sniff and do a handstand to make that happen.

Don't panic about matching wine to food. The loose guide is match the colour of the wine to the meat you're eating. Red meat, red wine. White meat, white wine. That's it. Beyond that, go by your taste buds alone. You'll pick up what tastes nice with wine as you go. As mentioned above, olives and cheese are common favourites.

People will swear there are specific wines for specific foods, but these people are largely making it up. Your own taste determines which wine you want to drink. Humor these people, for they will not be howled down, but take their advice with a grain of salt. They're likely just regurgitating what a posh uncle once told them, which they then converted to gospel. I say again: the only determination of a good tasting wine is your tongue.

Remember that rule, because it applies to price as well. Try all kinds of price ranges if you can, but never make the mistake of believing expensive = better taste. Incorrect. Better taste = better taste. Your mouth will tell you which one that is. If it happens to be a $4 of cleanskin plonc, congratulations, you will save a lot of money over the years. If it happens to be a $60 bottle of reserve New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc, great. Fork it out. It's worth it only if you actually enjoy it.

Learn to appreciate wine and you'll always have a readily available drink that won't disassociate you from the company you're in. It's a drink that matches your circumstances. You'll look sophisticated in sophisticated company, you'll look casual in a relaxed atmosphere, you'll look professional in a business setting. Beer and spirits can't offer that. Wine is an easier and tastier drink than a lot of younger people give it credit for, and it is to their detriment. Give it a try. You'll never regret it.

Unless you become an alcoholic, in which case, you didn't hear about any of this stuff from me.

Also, rosé is not a blend, I was mistaken in a tired haze and sabotaged by the fact that I don't like it and, therefore by my own advice, don't drink it. Go forth and drink wine, you classy lords and ladies!

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