How to Stop Drinking/Using

We start feeling bad so we medicate it with alcohol, drugs, sex, anger, etc. and then we feel shameful because we know we did something that we shouldn't have done. So now you have the original feelings you were trying to drown out and cover up early plus the added feeling of shame for drinking/using again. So, now we medicate the shame with more drinking and/or using and the cycle continues.

The cycle not only continues, but it grows stronger and stronger until we're driven to the brink of complete hopelessness and depression. In order to get sober we have to break that cycle which is simple, but not necessarily easy.

It's simple because there's a ton of things we can do constructively that can pull us out of that shame based thinking, Reaching out to somebody, journaling, meditating, prayer (if that's your thing), going to a support group/12 step meeting, exercising and making a gratitude list are just a few of the ways you can do that But unfortunately for us alcoholics/addicts, those things are the absolute last things one earth that we want to do when we're in that shame based thinking.

So how do you change that?

Well the truth is you simply have to force yourself to do it. You have to force yourself to reach out and ask for help even when your ego will tell you that you don't need to. When going to a meeting/support group is the absolute last thing on Earth that you want to do, you force yourself to go because chances are that's exactly where you need to be at that moment.

The good news is that our brains are adaptive so the more you do those things that pull you out of the shame cycle, the easier they get. I don't know much of anything about the brain and how it works but I've heard people talk about making new neural pathways. I'm a very visual person so I imagine it like my brain has different solutions for different situations that I'm in.

Before I was in recovery my brain pretty much had 1 solution to deal with stressful situations and that was to go drink and/or use. So I think of it like back then my brain had this path between when I felt stress and telling me to drink/use. The path was wide open and surging with electrical activity with absolutely nothing in it's path to stop it. The more I used the more I imagined the road getting wider and more open, like a wide open freeway.

So once I got into recovery, I would feel stress and force myself to do something else like writing for example (which is a huge one for me). I pictured my brain having a very hard time taking the path of writing over the path of drinking and/or using because it was like trying to crawl through a narrow, rocky canyon versus taking the large open lane highway. But, over time the canyon got wider the more it was traveled and it became easier for my brain to accept writing as an acceptable alternative to drinking/using. Now it may not be the wide open highway that drinking/using was for me but it's getting there and it gets wider and easier to travel every time I feel anxiety and respond by journaling.

I don't know if that makes any sense and by no means is it an accurate representation of what's actually happening in the brain, but it's definitely a visual that has helped me in my recovery. I also try to remind myself that the old highway to drinking/using isn't gone, it's still there, as wide as it once was with its abandoned roads. I try to remember that because I truly believe that the minute I go back to drinking and or using, I'll open that highway right back up and be right back where I started.

Anyway, sorry for the wall of text, I sincerely hope you find sobriety and the peace and serenity that can accompany it.

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