How to Talk to Women

Here's the problem, the people who are great with having a conversation with new people are able to talk to them in an uninhibited and open way, like you do with you friends, and indeed the person they speak to feels as if they're talking to someone they already know! WHY? It's NOT because of content, it's about getting on that same wavelength.

So if you're thinking about CONTENT you're focusing on the wrong thing already. This is not an intellectual pursuit, it's an EMOTIONAL one. CONTENT DOESN'T MATTER.

I called it getting on the same wavelength, other people call it breaking the ice, getting in the right mood or vibing, all those are the same things. In fact you even have to do this with your friends. Why do jokes get funnier as the night progresses as compared to when you JUST meet?

Here are the beliefs you go in with:

1. I am a guy, and I find this girl attractive. DO NOT compromise or apologize for this in exchange for easier conversation. (this is how people friendzone themselves) You don't have to verbalize it, but even holding this belief unapologetically will dial in your voice and eye contact to telegraph interest in the right way (which is attractive in itself!)
2. My thoughts and views are interesting and valuable because they are MINE. If YOU care about something, that is good enough! She will enjoy it, trust me!! Even if it's something YOU THOUGHT was funny that happened in your day. E.g. I was at the gap today and I was like holy shit why is everything so cheap?? Turns out I was in the kids section (true story).
3. ASSUME RAPPORT The problem with asking questions is that THAT"S NOT HOW YOU TALK TO PEOPLE YOU'RE COOL WITH!! So just ACT like would with your friends (tips on how to do this in the tips section below). You can say things and be excited like you would with your friend who you haven't seen in a long time DUDE you HAVE to come!!! It'll be SO MUCH FUN!!! It doesn't matter if you just met! An analogue to this is when you meet your friend but you've been DYING to tell him something, so in your head you've been talking to him already and then when you meet you're like DUDE, and the convo is ON RIGHT FROM THE BEGINNING? That's because you assumed rapport from the GET GO, instead of going through so "what's been up?"

Bonus 4: I trust myself

You are a good guy, you care about others having a good time, TRUST YOURSELF and you faculties. Don't worry, or scramble to think about what to say, you make good decisions when you're not micromanaged by your brain.

Now some EMOTIONAL kickstart tips

The first thing you need to realize is that typically what people do is that they will let the girl dictate their feelings. So they will throw things to try to get a positive emotion from a girl and THEN feel good, THEN try to reflect it back on the girl (or they just get drunk).

You don't need that. BE the warmth, get yourself in a good mood, joke around with yourself. I have a great time just by myself (dancing in the changing room, for example) so when I do interact with someone THE PARTY IS ALREADY HOT!! EVERYONE'S INVITED!! CHOO CHOO!! i forgot to mention it's a party train!

TIP 1. Get yourself in the mood you want the girl to be in. So it'll be FUN > RELAX> and then you transition into romance and if you do it naturally within you, she will naturally follow.

TIP 2. Don't ask questions, make statements. Even if they throw her off. You are trying to ELEVATE the mood above interview mode, so you can say "You didn't grow up around here, huh, you're too city for us country folk" rather than "Oh where did you grow up?"

TIP 3. Make fun of her. This is called flirting. (don't be mean). You can also make fun of yourself. E.g. Random girl while waiting in line: for some reason we're talking about Disney movies

ME: Ok what's the best [Disney movie]? Don't say Frozen.

Her: Cinderella!!

ME: Lol of course trust the blonde girl to pick Cinderella! Aladdin was the best by far!

Her: LOL! Trust the brown guy to pick Aladdin!!

TIP 4. MOST IMPORTANTLY do anything if YOU find it fun YOURSELF, that's what makes everything natural and smooth. This is what the perennial BS advice "just be yourself" is trying to say.

Few more tips:

How to get a number

"hey what's your number? (hand her your phone) let's hang out"

"We're goong to X this week, you HAVE TO HAVE TO COME! Gimme your number, here (hand phone)"

There's NO REASON to be like UM do you mind if I get your number? or Oh is it okay if I get your number?? OF COURSE IT IS!

I disagree with a lot of this "oh make sure you ask her questions," or "make sure you don't end up talking only about yourself," etc. The problem is that advice is given with someone in mind who would NEVER ASK THIS QUESTION YOU JUST ASKED. TRUST ME you'll be fine. You can talk about yourself all you want, DO NOT MICROMANAGE YOURSELF!

YOU KNOW what feels right. Do you worry about talking too much about yourself with your friends?? Just do what you enjoy!

EDIT: Just to add one more VERY IMPORTANT TIP:

DON'T JUDGE YOURSELF!

Yo! Maybe you're off today? Who cares, DON'T FORCE IT! DON'T ADMONISH YOURSELF.

Oops! maybe that was stupid, oops! maybe i shouldn't have said that. DOESN'T MATTER. Imagine you HAD to go off into a battlefield and you took this whiny guy who keeps reminding you "hey man what if we get shot?" "Hey man you know its really dangerous here" "no man I can't go on just carry me please" THAT GUY WILL GET YOU BOTH SHOT. Maybe everything he says is true, but he's not telling you anything new, and at this point he is dead weight, cut him loose.

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