Developing Personal Strength

Is hard the only option? Or the best option? Maybe we think of hard as the best way because we are afraid of what may come, so we strategize in terms of armor -- putting shields over our bodies, walls in front of our hearts, and rigid structures around our thinking. But it may just turn out that by hardening ourselves we are already losing the liberty that we hope to preserve.

What about responsive, and adaptable, and relaxed?

The teeth are hard, and their hardness is useful; but the teeth chip and crack and eventually fall out. The tongue is soft, and because of that it lasts a long time. (I'm not just talking about our physical makeup here, I'm pointing at alternative approaches.) A boulder is ancient, and strong, but when water flows onto it the boulder wears down and can eventually be penetrated or split.

Rather than thinking of hardening, I like to think of a strength that is able to move and respond. When someone is strong enough, they don't have to resist the situations that arise. So I like to think in terms of healthy discipline: keeping the body and mind and emotions in wholesome states.

Part of this, especially for men but including all people, is the importance of getting out of the comfort zone and challenging ourselves. The mind, the emotional heart, and the body all become more healthy with appropriate challenges. We should "put ourselves on the line" more often, by trying difficult things. But these difficult things should be wholesome, things that increase our integrity rather than things that separate or hurt us or each other.

Physically, being exposed to the elements more frequently is usually a good and healthy tactic. It should be done within the bounds of what the body can deal with; so that means that the kind and duration of activity will be different for everyone. Everyone has a different constitution — some people are naturally tougher, some are naturally more sensitive; both of these can be beneficial qualities, they are just different.

Mentally, learning to live with all different kinds of people, and engage with all different kinds of thinking, develops an adaptability with society. We can become tougher in terms of our ability to thrive in all kinds of communities, not requiring one narrow way of life for our survival or comfort.
Emotionally, the discipline of offering your heart can likewise bring about a greater strength in terms of relating to others in the real world. When you can offer kindness or love without being attached to the response you get, then you have a very strong and noble foundation. When you can express yourself sincerely (whether it's anger, or joy, or fear, or compassion), then you will have a greater balance in all kinds of situations. It's those of us who have to hide behind a frozen self-image who are the most threatened by the changes that always come in life.

So if you want to be strong, you should be yourself. Learn from people and use what you find useful, but don't be a copy — be an original, following your own nature and your own physical constitution, and your own situation. If you follow your own situation, you will have the power of the world at your fingertips.