Monday, August 22, 2016

How to Tell When a Girl is Flirting

Here's a list of hints a girl likes you. Disclaimer: every girl is different.

Observe her "baseline behavior" and see if she has deviations from that behavior. Example: She doesn't touch anyone, but hugs you a lot.

Girls prefer to "create opportunities" for the guy to make a move, rather than make a move herself. These are clues, not confirmation. Real answer is to ask her out.
  • She says compliments like, "Hey, I like your shirt." If she keeps walking, no go. If she stays to chat? Stop, talk to her and get her phone number. It's a common piece of dating advice in women's magazines to say something like that to guys. The problem is, men assume the girl likes their clothes, not likes them.

  • She asks what kind of girls you like, who you have a crush on, your relationship status, says you could get any girl you want, etc.
  • She asks what clothes you think look sexy, hairstyles, etc. Sends you photos of herself in outfits to get your opinion. Green flag: you tell her, and she dresses that way. Or she changes her hairstyle based on your preference. If she doesn't change fashion but her friend does, she was a wingwoman to gather info for her friend to date you.
  • "Friendly Inquisition" - her friend(s) ask, "What do you think of [girl's name]?" "Is she your type?" "Would you go out with her?" She sent them as spies. Variation: her friend calls and asks. The girl is on the line too, listening to what you'll say.
  • She creates excuses to hang out alone, e.g. studying together, watching a movie, show a talent. But she spends more time flirting with you and asking personal questions. Green flag if you're not even in the same classes or she does not need help studying.
  • She asks you to help her with easy stuff. Key is she's over-the-top grateful and doesn't want you to leave.
  • She's always "around." When you arrive at class, when you leave class, at the coffee shop you like, when you're at an event, etc.
  • She's gotten off work and has no reason to stay. You're the reason she wants to stay. If she's at work but says when she gets off work--she wants to hang out with you after.
  • She preemptively mentions being single. Or that she's broken up with her boyfriend.
  • She gives you her phone number without you even asking for it. Or she gets your number from someone else.
  • She texts you cute/sexy pictures and invites you to hang out.
  • She shows interest in your hobbies even though she didn't before. "Come to my house to play video games."
  • She brings up a movie she wants to see, a bar or restaurant she wants to check out, a party that's happening, etc. Especially if she says, "But I have no one to go with." She wants you to ask her out.
  • She casually bring up events, and gauges your reaction. If you show interest, she pounces and says you should go together. [4 hours later that night] "Wait, did she ask me out on a date?"
  • "Self-invite" date, e.g. you tell her about a cool bar you went to, and she says, "You should take me there!"
  • "Reminder" date, e.g. "When are you gonna take me for a spin in your car?" "When are we going to watch that TV show at your place?"
  • She asks if you have plans for the night or weekend. Ask her out for drinks.
  • Calls, texts (especially when it's late), likes all your Facebook posts, etc. Key thing: when you do invite her to hang out in person, she does, and she's eager to. If she constantly flakes, she just enjoys your attention and doesn't want to escalate further. If she acts like this with you while in a relationship with someone else, stay away.
  • She shares songs, photos, quotes, videos, stories etc. with you related to love. It's a "test" to see if you think about her in those ways.
  • Writes big long messages in your yearbook, her phone number and an invite to hang out.
  • "Third Party Endorsement." When she expresses what she wants as if it was the opinion of other people. Saying things like: "My friends think we would make a cute couple." "My Mom asked if you're my boyfriend yet 'cuz we hang out together so much." "Since we're alone together in your room, the other people at the party probably think we're hooking up right now."
  • Touching, hugging, sitting on your lap, holds your hand, puts your arm around her, dances close, etc. Asks "Have you been working out?" and feeling your biceps or abs. Massages and back rubs (takes off top). Play fighting.
  • Clumsiness or acting drunk as an excuse to lean on you, for you to hold her, and get your faces in kissing range.
  • She complains about being cold. If you're outside, put your arms around her. If you're lying down watching TV together, cuddle closer. If she says her hands are cold, hold her hands.
  • She shows off her body. Bends forward to show you her chest or butt, shows off her legs, answers the door wearing little clothing (or a towel). She's really trying if she tells you to look at her dress, legs, etc. "Look how short my skirt is!" Or she invites you to touch. "I just used a new razor to shave my legs and they're so smooth. Come and feel!"
  • She finds excuses to remove clothes. Too hot, has to take a shower, change clothes, etc. Key is she doesn't change rooms or close the door or kick you out.
  • She "steals" something from you--like a hat. You're supposed to chase her into a room and make out. Or takes a small item from you and drops it down her top.
  • She "borrows" things (she doesn't need) to make up a reason to talk to you.
  • She "forgets" things at your place so she has a reason to come back--and hook up.
  • "The Friend Fadeaway." You go out on a group outing with her and friends. They gradually leave until you're alone with the girl, maybe even her house or room. Variation: you show up thinking it's a group outing or a party, but she's the only one there.
  • "Party of Two." She invites you to a party or event, but sticks to you the whole night.
  • If you get sick or injured, she gets more worried and concerned beyond what you think a normal friend would. If she comes over with food and other supplies and plays nurse, it's a big hint.
  • After a night out at a bar, nightclub, or party, when she's ready to leave she asks to split a taxi with you back to her place. And she doesn't mentions sharing a cab with the whole group of friends, just you.
  • If she has a party at her place, at the end of the night she shoos out all the other guests but wants you to stay. Or she'll come with some excuse that you're too drunk, your home is too far, weather is too bad for you to drive home now, and she insists you sleep over.
  • If she's dropping people off after a party, night out, event, etc. she drops off everyone first and you last, even passing by your home to do it. To get you alone.
  • She "misses" the last train, bus, etc. so she can sleep over. Or makes excuses not to leave your car.
  • She brings up sleeping arrangements. She doesn't want you to sleep on the couch (or floor), and insists you share a bed with her.
  • She mentions how she's home alone tonight, roommate is away, her parents out of town, etc. She wants you to invite yourself over to fool around. Or for you to ask her to come over to your place. Hot tip: text her "coming over" or "come over" and see how she reacts.
  • If she comes over to your place, she confirms repeatedly that you're alone (no roommates or parents).
  • Thirst: "I'm so horny!" "I need to get laid tonight" "I've never fucked in [location you're both in now]."
  • She brags about her sexual skills. "I give great blowjobs."
  • She implies that the current circumstances are ideal for sex. "We're the only ones here." "We could fool around no one would know. "No one can hear us with these walls." "This bed is really comfortable, you know." "I'm not wearing panties." "I'm on birth control." "I've got condoms in that drawer." Those aren't random facts she just brought up.
  • She kisses another girl in front of you--and wants you to watch. Or invites you into a room to fool around more. How threesomes start.
  • She asks you out. She's tired of hinting. Straight talk is the last resort.
  • She says she used to have a crush on you. If she's single, she could be hinting she still has a crush and you should ask her out. He gets hung up on how she used the past tense, and treats it as her saying, "I'm not interested in you now."
  • Negative tactics. Some girls do these things to attract guys, but they actually repel guys.
  • She tries to make you jealous. She brags about guys asking her out, flirts with guys in front of you but always looks at you to make sure you see it, etc. She wants to let you know she's "in demand" so you'll want her. The problem is girls are turned on by competition in relationships, while most guys are turned off.
  • Complain about guys hitting on her. What she means is, "I don't like it when other guys do it, but it's okay for you because I like you." This backfires, because the guy will assume the girl doesn't want him to make a move too.
  • She bad-mouths any girl you date, because she's jealous of them getting to be intimate with you.
  • She opens the conversation by insulting you. house_robot explained this really well in another thread.

Quote:
When a girl says, "Oh you're a player aren't you?" its similar to when they say shit like, 
"Oh you want me to go home with you? You sure you don't have other girls there already?"
Its the female approach to giving a man a compliment: passive aggressively, and couched as an insult. Shes letting you know you have desirable qualities.
When girls say this type of nonsense to you, never confirm or deny it.
It took me a while to realize this was a thing. I'd meet a new girl, she'd break my balls, and I'd be turned off. Hear later she liked me. WTF?
Let's end on a positive note.
  • Food (+1 if she cooked or baked it herself), gifts, handmade greeting cards, mixtapes, poems or stories she wrote, etc.
Good luck!

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